Friday 4th April 2014
Forgive the four-year hiatus; life is busy, even for potatoes. But let's get down to business.
Hair is very important on Coronation Street. Bet Lynch's incredible do is testament to that. I don't want to make an entirely hair-based post (though I can't rule out a fan letter to Rita's wig at some point in the future), but I do want to talk about the hair factors at play in the Tina-Peter-Carla marriage/ affair/ pregnancy/ non-pregnancy tangle.
Tina's hair is brilliant. But her chignons and up-dos have become a bit dishevelled lately, as her non-relationship with Peter fizzles out. I thought the scene between the two of them in the second of Friday's episodes was the best thing written for them for a while: Tina's desperation to hold on to Peter, even if that means only ever meeting him in the ginnel, was well expressed and actually made me like Tina a bit. I've been so disappointed with the direction her character has gone in; she used to be great. I suppose there's a message there about toxic relationships (I saw that phrase on the front of a dire-looking magazine once and have always wanted to use it). So as Tina's life flops, so does her hair. I hope Steph can provide her with some Sunsilk as well as a shoulder to cry on.
Meanwhile, Carla's amazing vamp hair has been what I believe a salon expert might call "softened". It's got some sort of feathery layers and caramel tones, the perfect hair for new, unexpected Maternal Carla.
Carla's recent scene at the clinic with Michelle, where she was considering getting a termination, was completely predictable and boring, and not a patch on the early-90s Neighbours termination clinic storyline featuring Phoebe and Todd*. I mean, we knew from Carla's new kindly-looking hair that she wouldn't go through with the procedure. Michelle's previous comments about having a child being the "best thing" she'd ever done had obviously hit home. You know, that child Michelle had that got swapped at birth and then swapped back again when he was a teenager and then swapped back yet again and now I'm confused about who he actually is but I remember Michelle got all annoyed at him when he moved away to university which I thought was very unfair.
Michelle's hair has gone very flat-looking, and her clothes are very ageing and brassy at the moment. It's a transformation I enjoy. Michelle being brassy is brilliant. The highlight in Friday's episode came when she dragged Steve along by his ear, telling him off as he faked a hangover to cover up for Peter. The couple have become a bit like Jack and Vera, which is very pleasing.
The scenes between Steve and Peter as they planned their alibi were well-written and well-performed. I look forward to seeing how the imaginary plant pot full of vomit comes back to bite them somehow.
I have also been thinking about something else which might come back to bite Peter... Ages ago, maybe in January, he and Tina were having a kitchen-sink-based snuggle, and she broke a glass, cutting her finger. We all know that Tina's getting murdered soon, and perhaps the spots of her blood which got onto Peter's shirt during the smashed glass aftermath will be taken as evidence of his murderous guilt.
And if Peter is to be blamed for the murder, we can only assume that he won't be the actual murderer. I really hope it's Carla, and she gets away with it. She does have a look (and the attitude) of Velma Kelly, after all.
My ideal scenario: Carla does Tina in, Rob helps Carla frame Peter for it, Peter goes to clink, Tracy gets mad at Rob for framing Peter (not because she likes her brother, just because she likes engineering fiendish schemes and has been left out of this one), Rob and Tracy break up, Rob has rebound sex with Mary in her campervan.
And Carla gives birth to a child with amazing hair.
* Who of course was subsequently hit by a car.